Where am I going, and why am I in this handbasket?

Today I am pre-band. This means that for exactly 13 days I can eat whatever I want and NOT throw it up. Sept. 12 will be another story.

I'm not sure exactly how much I weigh, but I'm a big girl. For some strange reason, despite all the serious sit-down talks I've had with it, fat just doesn't come off me. In fact, it seems to do exactly opposite what I say. On Sept. 12 Dr. Hansen at South Towne Surgical Center is going to have his own sit-down talk with it.

Yes, I'm taking the obesity surgery road and opting for the Lap-Band. "To Hell in a Handbasket" as my dear mother would say. OK, my dear mother would probably say something more like, "Go to Hell," but that's another story.

I've gone through all the typical emotions that a person goes through when a person decides that for the rest of her life she wants to eat 1/2-1 cup of food at a time with the likely possibility that she will "productively belch" some of that food up. I can just see the belching contests taking a wicked turn.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm fed up with my fat friend, and I'm ridding myself of our long-term relationship. However, it's the long-term relationship that worries me the most. I have never thought of food as an emotional crutch. If anything, my appetite decreases when I get sad. I think food might be a power thing for me. I guess we'll find out what the ugly truth is.