Feeling blue

I'm a little sick of my life being so chaotic all the time. I feel like I'm about 6 months behind in my life right now. Part of it is with work. I think I'm a little blue today because of what the dean said to my new boss when introducing me... When introducing me to the new director, the dean says, "Here's Georgia. She's our webmaster. Our web pages are not where we want them to be, but we're working on it." I shot him a look as if to say, "Did you REALLY just say that?!!" And then the new guy (who probably saw the look) said, "Well, I can imagine web pages are never where you want them to be. They're always changing." I could tell the new director thought I was uncomfortable from the dean's comments. He was right. How could he say something like that? Now I've gone from underappreciated to disgruntled. On top of that, another director wanted to have a meeting today about his concern that our websites are out of date. OF COURSE they're out of date if the liaison for each program doesn't tell me there's an update that needs to be made. I'm feeling slightly attacked here for busting my butt for an organization that could care less about me or my efforts.

I honestly don't know what more I can do for them. I go to work, come home and learn new technology for work, go to bed, wake up, go back to work, blah blah blah. All this puts me behind on finishing wedding videos, which leads to that whole state of being in perpertual catch up mode. I can't win. I give up. Maybe I'm not what they need. Actually, they need me and then another programmer and another designer and then they could maybe catch up to the big guys. I recently got back from the UCEA conference. We're further ahead in our websites than most of the other CE's in this country. Does the dean not recognize this?

At any rate, I'm going to try to feel better about this. But today's events have just made me think twice about whether I want to stay or not. Maybe I'll stay just long enough to finish my Master's degree (and get the educational discount).