I hate men
I don't know how I'm going to ever trust men again. After all I experienced with Kori, I'm pretty sure I was just his bootie call. The man is a loose cannon. Why did I not see this coming? All my friends saw it coming. They all knew he was bad for me. I didn't see it. I just thought they didn't know him like I knew him.
Let me backtrack. Yes, I'm back from Canada. Yeah, I had a good time. Too good a time. But today he calls me and tells me he's going to get back with the woman he had the affair with because "it's too hard. I can't be good anymore. I've tried for 9 months to be good and I'm the same person I was then." This is probably true. But I told him he'd be throwing his life away if he did that. He can't just go start up another affair because he's had a crappy day today. Of course, he broke my heart, the dirty bastard. He broke it in the worst way a man can break it. As a child of God, I want the best for him. I want him to make good decisions in life and I want him to find a good girl and get married. But as someone who killed me emotionally and played a part in killing me spiritually, I want him to die! I hate his freakin guts. My cousin Andrea said "I know a guy if you need him taken care of. " LOL. I wish. But I still have very mixed feelings at this point. I still miss him and want to be with him. At the same time, he's not worthy of me. I deserve so much better than him.
I keep thinking I'll never find a man that I liked as much as Kori. But in reality, I know another man is out there for me. I can get along with anyone. I just want someone fun! I don't even care if they're cute any more. I've done cute, I'm done with cute. Cute equals jerk or playa. I wasn't even ALL that attracted to Kori when he first contacted me (and he said the same). It was his personality that made him so beautiful to me. But I didn't care what he looked like in the end. I loved him for him. But at this point I want nice, I want fun, I want spontaneous, I want righteous. He's out there. Dear Lord, please help me to find him because I'm about to rip my hair out with this one!
Let me backtrack. Yes, I'm back from Canada. Yeah, I had a good time. Too good a time. But today he calls me and tells me he's going to get back with the woman he had the affair with because "it's too hard. I can't be good anymore. I've tried for 9 months to be good and I'm the same person I was then." This is probably true. But I told him he'd be throwing his life away if he did that. He can't just go start up another affair because he's had a crappy day today. Of course, he broke my heart, the dirty bastard. He broke it in the worst way a man can break it. As a child of God, I want the best for him. I want him to make good decisions in life and I want him to find a good girl and get married. But as someone who killed me emotionally and played a part in killing me spiritually, I want him to die! I hate his freakin guts. My cousin Andrea said "I know a guy if you need him taken care of. " LOL. I wish. But I still have very mixed feelings at this point. I still miss him and want to be with him. At the same time, he's not worthy of me. I deserve so much better than him.
I keep thinking I'll never find a man that I liked as much as Kori. But in reality, I know another man is out there for me. I can get along with anyone. I just want someone fun! I don't even care if they're cute any more. I've done cute, I'm done with cute. Cute equals jerk or playa. I wasn't even ALL that attracted to Kori when he first contacted me (and he said the same). It was his personality that made him so beautiful to me. But I didn't care what he looked like in the end. I loved him for him. But at this point I want nice, I want fun, I want spontaneous, I want righteous. He's out there. Dear Lord, please help me to find him because I'm about to rip my hair out with this one!
posted by Georgie Porgie @ 10:44 PM
1 Comments:
At 2:57 AM,
Anonymous said…
awww man. I am sorry. I was so excited for you too! Your perfect guy is out there.... you will find him. I am sorry you are hurt, men can suck. But when you find the right one, all the heartache is worth it!!!
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