Breakthrough

Hold your applause, ladies and gentlemen, but I have decided to ixnay on the Edmonton Triathlon-ay and I'm choosing to do the Midway Tri instead. Why? Let me give you ONE clear reason: Kori. Yeah, he's there. I would contact him, I know I would. And I'd have my tummy tuck, my 40 pounds less (of which I've already erradicated 25 since I last saw him), my longer hair, which he loved, my new straighter, whiter teeth... and I, for some reason, have matured incredibly, emotionally and spiritually, since him. Obviously not matured enough to think I wouldn't contact him, though. Strange. I guess I still have some growing up to do after all, but I truly think I was on my way to spiritual death when I met him. Yes, I had a testimony, but I wasn't acting upon it. I wasn't listening to the Spirit, otherwise it probably would have told me to stay the heck away. So though he loved me FOR my spirituality, it was obviously weak and just became weaker. I am still weak, I think, but at least I can admit it now, and seek God's divine guidance. But if I did contact him one of three things would happen: 1) Kori would want me back, albeit temporarily and for a short fling while I'm there, and perhaps try to drag it on some more when I got home. I'd fall for him again and we'd start this cycle over again, 2) he will have completely gotten over me and/or be dating someone else, where I would be somewhat relieved and yet heartbroken ALL OVER again, or 3) he will have changed, spiritually, and, if it would work out for the better, it's still a freakin long-distance relationship and one that I still don't know if I could trust, and it would exacerbate all the self-doubt baggage I already have from the relationship. I suppose I have left out the possiblity of ME not wanting HIM when I see him.

But I digress. The Midway tri is beautiful! And it's local. I'm starting to wonder, however, if I should be training for a half-ironman instead of the olympic. I already train at what it says your peak training should be for the Olympic... and I haven't even started my training schedule yet. I really do think I could do a half ironman. But I don't want to overdo it for my first tri.

I'll digress again with another topic: We went to Gateway to take Sara & Cameron's engagement photos on Saturday (before my date with Felix). I love it when we get together with our cousins Brandy and Andrea. They are so fun. Here's our goodtime pic:


(Left to right: Andrea, me, Brandy, Sara)

Oh yeah, and here's the Tony update. I texted him on Saturday to find out what kind of workaround he used for his Nike iPod thingy (since I don't have Nike sneakers). He texted back a few times, I asked him how he's been and whether I scared him off, he said no, I didn't scare him off, he's just be incredibly busy. The boy is always busy anyway. So that's it, pretty much. I'll still wait for him to make the next move. If he's truly interested he'll text or call me back after he's a little less busy. In the meantime I'll train for my triathlon and stop worrying about stupid boys.