The addiction is REAL

Today is day 5. Last night was probably my worst night. I had the WORST gas pains I've ever felt in my whole life. I felt like I was having a heart attack. It hurt to breathe. But this morning I feel so much better. Better than I've felt so far, in fact.

I noticed something last night. My sister brought home Nestle Tollhouse Cookies. I started cursing her under my breath for bringing these home when I couldn't have any. That's when I realized: I'm not hungry! Why do I want chocolate chip cookies when I'm not hungry? For the same reason I've been drooling over every food commercial that pops onto the television. I AM ADDICTED!!!!! (cries uncontrollably). Remember one of my previous posts where I said I didn't think I was addicted to food (assuming whoever reads this reads it religiously)? How naive is that?!!! I've had a 27-year relationship with food. I go on cruises JUST for the food quality (because I'll never go Princess again). That's HALF the reason I go on vacation. That kind of thing doesn't disappear overnight. So... I'm mourning the loss of my friend food. I have a new friend called clear liquids, but she's a real witch. Starting tomorrow I'll have a new friend called protien drink, and she's a bit nicer.

In all, I just hope this experience makes me less retrospective (I hate this), and more looking forward. I don't want to constantly be thinking about food. I'd just LOVE to get to the point where I forget to eat every once in awhile because I didn't think about it.