What is WRONG with me?
I just got back from a date with Joey. Yeah, we had fun. But I feel like every date I go on ends up being just like purely "hanging out" and less "date-like". Maybe it's that Joey feels the same as me: No chemistry whatsoever. He's good lookin, spiritual, nice, funny, but there is NO chemistry between us. Funny how you can't explain these things.
But it makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me. Do I act too much like a guy? I feel like I do, sometimes. I mean, I sort of AM just like a guy: I like sports and all athletics and the outdoors, I'm sarcastic. I don't know. I just don't act super feminine when I'm on a date. I can't figure it out. It's like I'm trying to be so real that I end up overcompensating with REALNESS. Of course, now I'm over-analyzing it like a girl.
Gosh, it all comes down to being impatient. I keep thinking, "why can't these dates work out?" Gosh, Georgia, you can't expect every date to work out. It's been only almost 6 weeks since Kori dropped the bomb on you. You're not going to find another man for awhile, and you WON'T be over Kori for awhile. It's not that I'm comparing to Kori, I just want to feel that chemistry again.
Each date, however, teaches me something new. Today Joey said something that made sense to me: "It's when you are okay with being alone that the right person comes along." So I'm trying to be okay with being alone. My counselor warned me about being alone right now, though. He says not a good idea for me to be alone - albeit not necessarily be with a man, just with other people. It will take time. But my comforting thought... and it's a random one... is "If I never ever find a man that I liked as much as Kori again, at least I love to road bike (cycle)." Yeah, it's like saying "I'd rather be rich than stupid." Except, for me, it means that I love to cycle and be outdoors so much that I could be happy doing that the rest of my life. Yeah, it's clinical.
But it makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me. Do I act too much like a guy? I feel like I do, sometimes. I mean, I sort of AM just like a guy: I like sports and all athletics and the outdoors, I'm sarcastic. I don't know. I just don't act super feminine when I'm on a date. I can't figure it out. It's like I'm trying to be so real that I end up overcompensating with REALNESS. Of course, now I'm over-analyzing it like a girl.
Gosh, it all comes down to being impatient. I keep thinking, "why can't these dates work out?" Gosh, Georgia, you can't expect every date to work out. It's been only almost 6 weeks since Kori dropped the bomb on you. You're not going to find another man for awhile, and you WON'T be over Kori for awhile. It's not that I'm comparing to Kori, I just want to feel that chemistry again.
Each date, however, teaches me something new. Today Joey said something that made sense to me: "It's when you are okay with being alone that the right person comes along." So I'm trying to be okay with being alone. My counselor warned me about being alone right now, though. He says not a good idea for me to be alone - albeit not necessarily be with a man, just with other people. It will take time. But my comforting thought... and it's a random one... is "If I never ever find a man that I liked as much as Kori again, at least I love to road bike (cycle)." Yeah, it's like saying "I'd rather be rich than stupid." Except, for me, it means that I love to cycle and be outdoors so much that I could be happy doing that the rest of my life. Yeah, it's clinical.
posted by Georgie Porgie @ 10:50 PM
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