I do think I'm in love

I know, how can you freakin love someone after only knowing them a few weeks? I think I do. We talk on the phone for 3 hours a day and text and IM the rest of the day, so I know every darn thing there is to know about the boy. But mostly, I know that he's real, romantic, sweet, caring, honest, sarcastic, has integrity, and has a strong relationship with God. He's also multi-faceted, a good father, has high opinions of others, and loves his wonderful family.

What I love most about our relationship, is that we read scriptures together and say our prayers together at the end of the night. Which, in all honesty, could create feelings of love for a person when really it's the Spirit. I'm elated to have this feeling right now, but scared of what it might produce. My extreme fear of commitment holds me back from loving anyone fully. Hey, there's a song about that, it's called "Fidelity" by Regina Spektor. She's a genius.

I'm addicted

This post is largely for me, but for some odd reason I'm posting it for the world to see. I met this wonderful man. He's gorgeous, he's funny, he's sweet, he's sarcastic... he's perfect, in that totally unperfect way. When I was going out with Ben I felt the same way, to be honest, but Ben was a playa. And even I could tell that while going out with him. I was really stuck on the whole gentleman thing for awhile. I wanted a complete and utter gentleman - in all ways. But now I realize that usually equates to PLAYER.

So now I have Kori. Kori likes to talk dirty to me, which is usually pretty funny, but I have to tone the boy down. Again, boundaries are incredibly important. I'm getting married in the temple and that's all there is to it! But I really hope this goes somewhere. I've never felt a connection like this with anyone in my whole life. Actually, I never really believed in sparks or chemistry or getting caught up in all of that. But this is changing with Kori. The boy is talking about marriage an awful lot. I just tell him to knock it off and splash some cold water on his face when he gets like that. I need to figure out whether it's lust or something more.

Hallelujiah it's rainin' men

Ladies, the drought is over. I haven't blogged in awhile, and that's largely in part to the fact that I've been busy dating! I've never been a dater, not my whole life, until now. All of a sudden, in fact. I never dated pre-band. Now that I'm about 30 pounds from my final goal weight, it's like the floodgates were opened. It leaves me in the semi-awkward position of feeling like a 16-year-old girl who's just been allowed to date. I'm having to learn to set boundaries again. At my age I think they're just a little more sly about the booty call, but it's just as bad as when they're 16, trust me.

I know there are a few who read this blog who are considering weight loss surgery. I have regained a life from the hard work I put into this band. What is your life worth? Mine was around $13,000. What a deal! If you don't think you can afford it, MAKE yourself afford it. You'd be surprised how you can fudge finances to make it work. Is your life worth it? I'm no longer pre-diabetic and my triglyceride, hormone, and cholesterol levels are all in the low-normal range. I've dropped 115 pounds and 25% body fat. I danced the night away at a conference in Boulder, CO, last week. I was ASKED to dance! This never happened before. Your life is worth it! Make the commitment and do it!